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torkellYes! It's that time of year again, and this time it's Eurovision for reals!
For a change we don't open with a reprise of the reigning champion, but instead we've got a parade of the contestants set to a fairly catchy dance track - and to the surprise of the UK's resident snarkmeister Graham Norton, the hosts sing!
This year's country intro theme: wireframe huts showcasing the Netherlands! They've picked some very eclectic locations... Cyprus got a set of grain bins. Russia has spherical 70's "modern housing". Greece gets an observatory. Spain... a giant sandpit? And San Marino get to showcase a UFO-esque building? The Netherlands has some weird architecture.
1. Cyprus: Very red.
2. Albania: Smoke! More smoke! ALL THE SMOKE!
3. Israel: A sort of punk Tron/Blade Runner theme? And wow, that high note at the end.
4. Belgium: We'll play your backing track if we must. Very moody.
5. Russia: Help I'm trapped in a giant dress! Very powerful message - it reminded me of Björk's Declare Independence.
6. Malta: All the jazz hands!
7. Portugal: Interesting - this did not go how I expected. Not quite as good as their epic win though.
8. Serbia: Very Eurovisiony - they've even got the obligatory key change at the end.
Interlude: We shall ask previous winners the important question of where do they keep their trophies... and how often they clean it?
9. United Kingdom: I'm rather disappointed that the giant trumpets didn't actually do anything.
10. Greece: Dance dance dance! We even have literal dancing clothes (with one of the more innovative uses of greenscreen)!
11. Switzerland: This feels like modern art in music form. Quite catchy.
12. Iceland: Eurovision, in space..., in the eighties? Complete with keytars of all things.
13. Spain: Nonono, this is how you do Eurovision in space.
14. Moldova: We're trapped in a maze of wireframe cubes.
15. Germany: What. I mean, there's a decent message in that song... and there's also a dancing hand.
16. Finland: Angry Eurovision! Nice guitar-fu.
Interlude: let's ambush the commentators!
17. Bulgaria: Wow. Simple, and yet so emotional.
18. Lithuania: The disco made me do it!
19. Ukraine: So we've got a Tron/Narnia crossover... with a goth Queen Jadis?
20. France: Wow. This was an angry ballad.
21. Azerbaijan: We've discovered... fire!
22. Norway: Angels and demons!
23. The Netherlands: Nice.
24. Italy: Meh.
25. Sweden: All the flashing lights!
26. San Marino: Catchy, and completely bonkers!
And that's the lot! I'm torn between Russia, Finland, Bulgaria and France as a favourite, Greece know how to use a greenscreen, Israel and Ukraine are competing for the best Tron crossover, and Iceland are stuck in the eighties.
Interval act 1: If you pick the right tram... everyone will start spontaneously dancing! Next stop: Eurovision!
Interval act 2: How to Eurovision! Remember, it's just chaos, we're Europe, we're used to it 🤣
Interval act 3: What happens if you get the Eurovision taxi!
Interval act 4: Trolls! I still maintain Lordi are the ultimate Eurovision winner - at the time it was such an unexpected entry, and they shattered the then record for most points scored.
Interval act 5: Awww.
Interval act... 6? Okay, a mini-act for the countdown! I'm slightly disappointed that they didn't go with Europe's (yes, that is what the band is called) The Final Countdown.
On to the results, and the traditional "This is $capital calling" live linkups for the jury votes. And Poland's presenter is wearing a zebra costume? With gloves? Moving on... props to Austria for the Equality slogan. And here in the UK we've tried to one-up Portugal with a what is this madness outfit. Aww, Greece's presenter is only ten! Moldova have decided to deliver their results via saxophone? Iceland want to award their 12 points to Jaja Ding Dong? Wtf happened to Sweden's presenter?
So Switzerland have won the jury vote, while unfortunately the UK has thoroughly lost with the traditional nul points from the jury votes. I think this was another year where we had a merely an OK entry. And wow, we didn't get any point from the phone vote either? Harsh, dude.
This is unusual - four countries have received no televoting points, and the points being handed out are surprisingly low (fourteen are <100) given past years. Lithuania is the first to break the 100 point mark, and Finland to get past 200 (and first place for now). With eight to go, Ukraine have jumped to first place for now - but I reckon someone could get ~400 points from a public vote. Iceland have just scraped into first with four left. Now it's Italy with three left, but I reckon any of the three left plus Italy could win.
And the winner is... Italy, looking completely overwhelmed by their win!
For a change we don't open with a reprise of the reigning champion, but instead we've got a parade of the contestants set to a fairly catchy dance track - and to the surprise of the UK's resident snarkmeister Graham Norton, the hosts sing!
This year's country intro theme: wireframe huts showcasing the Netherlands! They've picked some very eclectic locations... Cyprus got a set of grain bins. Russia has spherical 70's "modern housing". Greece gets an observatory. Spain... a giant sandpit? And San Marino get to showcase a UFO-esque building? The Netherlands has some weird architecture.
1. Cyprus: Very red.
2. Albania: Smoke! More smoke! ALL THE SMOKE!
3. Israel: A sort of punk Tron/Blade Runner theme? And wow, that high note at the end.
4. Belgium: We'll play your backing track if we must. Very moody.
5. Russia: Help I'm trapped in a giant dress! Very powerful message - it reminded me of Björk's Declare Independence.
6. Malta: All the jazz hands!
7. Portugal: Interesting - this did not go how I expected. Not quite as good as their epic win though.
8. Serbia: Very Eurovisiony - they've even got the obligatory key change at the end.
Interlude: We shall ask previous winners the important question of where do they keep their trophies... and how often they clean it?
9. United Kingdom: I'm rather disappointed that the giant trumpets didn't actually do anything.
10. Greece: Dance dance dance! We even have literal dancing clothes (with one of the more innovative uses of greenscreen)!
11. Switzerland: This feels like modern art in music form. Quite catchy.
12. Iceland: Eurovision, in space..., in the eighties? Complete with keytars of all things.
13. Spain: Nonono, this is how you do Eurovision in space.
14. Moldova: We're trapped in a maze of wireframe cubes.
15. Germany: What. I mean, there's a decent message in that song... and there's also a dancing hand.
16. Finland: Angry Eurovision! Nice guitar-fu.
Interlude: let's ambush the commentators!
17. Bulgaria: Wow. Simple, and yet so emotional.
18. Lithuania: The disco made me do it!
19. Ukraine: So we've got a Tron/Narnia crossover... with a goth Queen Jadis?
20. France: Wow. This was an angry ballad.
21. Azerbaijan: We've discovered... fire!
22. Norway: Angels and demons!
23. The Netherlands: Nice.
24. Italy: Meh.
25. Sweden: All the flashing lights!
26. San Marino: Catchy, and completely bonkers!
And that's the lot! I'm torn between Russia, Finland, Bulgaria and France as a favourite, Greece know how to use a greenscreen, Israel and Ukraine are competing for the best Tron crossover, and Iceland are stuck in the eighties.
Interval act 1: If you pick the right tram... everyone will start spontaneously dancing! Next stop: Eurovision!
Interval act 2: How to Eurovision! Remember, it's just chaos, we're Europe, we're used to it 🤣
Interval act 3: What happens if you get the Eurovision taxi!
Interval act 4: Trolls! I still maintain Lordi are the ultimate Eurovision winner - at the time it was such an unexpected entry, and they shattered the then record for most points scored.
Interval act 5: Awww.
Interval act... 6? Okay, a mini-act for the countdown! I'm slightly disappointed that they didn't go with Europe's (yes, that is what the band is called) The Final Countdown.
On to the results, and the traditional "This is $capital calling" live linkups for the jury votes. And Poland's presenter is wearing a zebra costume? With gloves? Moving on... props to Austria for the Equality slogan. And here in the UK we've tried to one-up Portugal with a what is this madness outfit. Aww, Greece's presenter is only ten! Moldova have decided to deliver their results via saxophone? Iceland want to award their 12 points to Jaja Ding Dong? Wtf happened to Sweden's presenter?
So Switzerland have won the jury vote, while unfortunately the UK has thoroughly lost with the traditional nul points from the jury votes. I think this was another year where we had a merely an OK entry. And wow, we didn't get any point from the phone vote either? Harsh, dude.
This is unusual - four countries have received no televoting points, and the points being handed out are surprisingly low (fourteen are <100) given past years. Lithuania is the first to break the 100 point mark, and Finland to get past 200 (and first place for now). With eight to go, Ukraine have jumped to first place for now - but I reckon someone could get ~400 points from a public vote. Iceland have just scraped into first with four left. Now it's Italy with three left, but I reckon any of the three left plus Italy could win.
And the winner is... Italy, looking completely overwhelmed by their win!
