The highly inaccurate guide to the Eurovision Song Contest 2024: Results!

[torkell]

Interval act 1: Time for a eighties disco! And oops, a little too much fire - not to mention the wrong band...

Interval act 2: ABBA?! Covered by some more recent Eurovision winners.

This year even the hosts get to make a picture postcard and attempt dramatic selfies!

Interval act 3: the post-apocalyptic Fifth Element/Ghost in the Shell crossover continues...

And the lines are now closed! I did not expect the crowd to boo the EBU's representative Martin Österdahl to that extent, though this year's Eurovision contest has had controversial aspects, to say the least... Anyway, jury vote time with the traditional "this is London calling" combined with the traditional Graham Norton snark. Malta's representative was caught mid-banana! Australia have brought the keytar back, and with it 4 points to the UK - so whatever happens, we've scored something. Wow, the crowd do not like the EBU (who delivered the Netherland's points since their host decided not to appear after their disqualification).

So everyone got something from the jury vote, but the leader by far is Switzerland with 365 points? Don't get me wrong, it was good, but I wouldn't have expected it to win. As always everything is still to play for as the public vote can deliver over 400 points to the ultimate winner - and the public often disagrees with the juries.

Austria only got 5 (for 24 total). Lithuania are the first to get more than 50 from the audience. There's a lot of small scores being awarded at the moment, until we reach Greece with 85.

And the UK got zero from the audience? Harsh, dude, and undeserved - that was a decent entry.

Ireland did well, but not enough to reach the top. No, Australia, the witch shall not be crowned tonight. Instead it's looking like Croatia who got 370+ audience points. With two to go, it'll take a lot of points to pass Croatia and I'm not sure there's that much left for Switzerland or France to beat them.

I was wrong, Switzerland take the crown. Literally - they've got Ireland's crown!

All they have to do now is make it through the neon maze that is backstage. 😅