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The future is now
In today's "the future is now" moment, the clubcard signup machine in the local Tesco's spits out actual plastic cards with a working magnetic stripe and with your name printed on it. I was just expecting a barcode on a scrap of paper (like the Ikea one does) with the real card turning up in the post a couple of weeks later.
On the down side, the machine claimed my postcode did not exist. Apparently it takes more than two years for Tesco to update their postcode database.